How Could You
Jim Wills
My housetraining took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed, listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs," you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.
Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love.
She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" - still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy. Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love."
As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch - because your touch was now so infrequent - and I would have defended them with my life if need be.
I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams. Together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway. There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf.
Now you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a time when I was your only family.
I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog or cat, even one with "papers." You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You gave me a goodbye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too.
After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked "How could you?"
They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you - that you had changed your mind - that this was all a bad dream...or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me. When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited.
I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table, rubbed my ears and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood.
She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?"
Perhaps because she understood my dog speak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself - a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. With my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not meant for her. It was you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of. I will think of you and wait for you forever.
May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.
豈有此理!! How could you?!!
Copyright (c) 倪震 2005, all rights reserved
當我還是傻裡傻氣的小狗時，一舉一動都會令你樂不可支。你稱我為自己骨肉，喚我作心肝寶貝。雖然，我解剖過你幾個枕頭，咬爛過你不少鞋子，但我們還是成為了最親蜜的朋友。
每次我「壞」了，你都會指著我，大叫：「豈有此理！」，但轉眼又會按捺不住，眉開眼笑地把我反過來搓肚子。我記得多少個晚上，我在被窩裏，鼻子哄著你， 聽著你說秘密、說理想、說夢話。噢，那是多美滿的日子。我們一起散步，一起奔跑，一起遊車河，一起買雪糕 (每次你將雪糕吃光，把雪糕筒留給我，便開始說雪糕對狗有害)。你上班，我會晒著太陽，半睡半醒的等你回家，有時夢見你，有時想著你。
你愈來愈忙了，除了工作，也開始拍拖。我仍然每天等你，在你心碎 、失意時安慰你；無論你對或錯，我都只會默默支持你。你回家，我當然雀躍；嗅出你戀愛的喜悅，我更欣喜若狂。
她，現在是你的妻子了，並不太喜歡狗，但我仍然歡迎她。我對她唯命是從，嘗試用熱情感動她。你快樂，我便快樂。嬰兒一個個出世，我和 你同樣興奮。看到他們嬌嫩粉紅的肌膚，嗅著他們的氣味，令我覺得自己也是父母，我也想照顧他們呀。但她，和你，卻擔心小孩子的安全，最後，我不是被關在工 作間，就是給困在籠子裏。唉，我是這樣的愛他們；愛，卻把我囚禁起來。小孩子慢慢長大，我終於成為他們的好朋友。他們扯著我的毛，戰戰兢兢地走出第一步； 他們用小手指戳我的眼，好奇地拉開我的耳朵研究，又熱情地吻我鼻子。他們怎樣搞，我都無任歡迎，畢竟，你已經很少和我玩。我願意付出性命，來保護他們。我 會鑽進被窩，聽他們的小煩惱、小夢話，我又會和他們一起，等待著你每天回家開門的鑰匙 聲。
你的兒子尖叫著：「爸，不要讓他們帶走我的狗！」你要撬開他手指，他才肯鬆開我的頸圈。我實在替他擔心，我擔心你剛替他上的一堂 課，會令他一生對友誼、忠誠、愛、責任，和所有生命都需要尊重的價值產生懷疑。你留下了頸圈和皮帶，避開我的視線，拍拍我的頭說再見。趕著開會的你，看看 錶，時間已無多；我不用開會，但情況，似乎一樣。你走後，兩位工作人員談起來，說你幾個月前就知自己要調職，為甚麼不自己嘗試替我找戶好人家？她們搖搖 頭，說：「豈有此理！」。
工作人員忙得要命，但很看顧我們。當然，每天都有食物供應，但，我己經喪失食慾很久了。起初，每有人走近 「囚室」，我都以為是你回心轉意，連跑帶跳地衝向鐵欄杆，希望一切只是場惡夢。後來，我開始期盼會是想收養我的好心人，任何人，只要把我從這夢魘救出去就 好。最後，我明白我不會是中心其他幼犬的對手，牠們活潑可愛，沒有包袱，我開始 長期縮在「囚室」一角，靜靜等待。有天，下班前，我聽到腳步聲來找我，跟著她，我蹓過長長的走廊，入了一個房間。靜得像天國似的一個房間。她把我放上桌 子，揉著我耳朵，叫我不要怕。我的心砰砰跳著，估量著下一步會是甚麼，暗地裏，卻有點如釋重負。做囚犯的日子，似乎走到盡 頭了。我的天性不改，看見她邊拿起針筒邊流淚，又開始為她擔心。我明明白白到她的情緒，正如我明明白白你的一樣。我輕輕舔著她的手安慰她，就如從前安慰著 你。她專業地把針滑進靜脈，刺痛帶著一陣清涼的液體流遍我全身。我累了，躺下，想睡了，抬頭望著她慈愛的眼睛，我喃喃怨道：「豈有此理！」她不知是看得 懂，還是聽得懂，抱著我，抱歉地說對不起。又匆匆地解釋一切都是為了確保我不用受苦，不用受遺棄。我去的地方充滿著愛，充滿光明，會比這個世界更適合我。 我用盡最後一分氣力，重重地擺了擺尾，想告訴她，那句「豈有此理！」，不是對她說的，是對我最愛的主人說的。我會永遠想念你，也會永遠等你。我希望你一生 遇上的所有人，都和我對你一樣有情有義，都和我對你一樣忠誠。
註：有人在美國，用七千美元在報紙買了全版廣告， 來刊登 Jim Willis寫的這篇文章。Jim 的英文版歡迎轉載，我這篇翻譯也是一樣。有心人，先多謝了。
倪震
Jul 8, 2008
送給有養寵物的你
Jun 25, 2008
神在哪兒
當初是我們自己叫神離開，為甚麼現在又要問祂到底在那裡？
美國著名牧師葛培理的女兒安妮，於911後被美國某電視台邀請出席節目。
主持人單刀直入問：「為何神會讓此等悲劇發生？」
她以神的睿智，道出一番見解︰
我深信神跟我們一樣，為此事極度痛心。
但美國人在這些年來，將神從學校中趕走、將祂從政府內踢走、將祂從我們生活中剔走。
我相信神只有默默地從我們的生活中無奈淡出。
當初是我們自己叫神離開，為甚麼現在又要問祂到底在那裡？
為甚麼我們有權質問神，為何不保護美國人？
不如讓我們回顧美國這幾年的道德發展，好嗎？
某年，有人提出，學校內不可祈禱，因為學校應宗教中立，學校無權要求學生祈禱。
我們說︰「無問題！」
某月，有人覺得教導人「不可殺人、不可偷盜、要愛鄰舍」的聖經落伍，不如把它從學校中拿走。
我們說︰「無問題！」
某日，有人說︰「孩子的自尊心很脆弱，我們不應使用體罰。」（說這話的人，他的孩子最終自殺身亡。）
我們說︰「無問題！」
某刻，有人說︰「時代變了，老師、校長不應責罰學生，學生承受太大壓力了。」因怕惹怒家長，引起傳媒報導，學校不敢?
暺@學生。
我們說︰「無問題！」
又有人說︰「孩子有人權，他們有權接受墮胎手術，更沒有責任通知父母。」
我們說︰「無問題！」
他說︰「與其閃閃縮縮，不如主動教孩子如何使用安全套。反正孩子都是好奇嘛，婚前性行為，沒甚麼大不了！」
我們說︰「無問題！」
有人說︰「工作跟私人生活應分開，只要那總統能搞好經濟.....
我們幹嗎要管人家的私生活？！人人都有私隱嘛！」
我們說︰「無問題！」
有人說︰「瀏覽色情網站是個人自由，即使是兒童色情網站又如何？這都是個人言論自由，關你甚麼事！」
我們說︰「無問題！」
有人說︰「現代人應有開放思想，電視、電影的色情、暴力，只不過在反映社會實況。關於毒品、強姦、謀殺、惡魔的歌詞，也不過是宣洩情緒、紓緩壓力......為何要大驚小怪？想做就去做嘛！」
我們說︰「無問題！」
成年人為社會訂下以上種種「社會制度」後，我們又要追問︰為甚麼現今孩子沒有良知？為何孩子持槍殺人？
為何13歲的孩子已為人父母？為甚麼911慘劇要發生？
神無奈地答︰「孩子呀！是你們不許我踏入你們的生命。」
若細心思索，不難發現這一切是我們自己做成的，我們親手摧毀了自己所栽種的。
有趣的是，人們離棄神，卻又質問神為何整個世界正走向地獄的門口。
有趣的是，我們相信報紙所說的，卻質疑經上所說的。
有趣的是，你可以透過電郵發出笑話，並且很快被廣傳
，但當你發出與神有關的信息時，人們卻猶豫。
有趣的是，不雅及色情的文章在網上自由地發放；但在學校及工作環境中，對於神的公開討論卻被抑制。
你正在想什麼呢？
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有趣的是，當你把這封郵件轉送出去時，你不會發給很多人，因你不知道其他人會怎樣看你。
有趣的是，你對別人怎看你比對神怎看你更加在意。
若你認為這是有意義的，把這封電郵傳給其他人吧！
否則，把它棄掉吧！沒有人會知道的。
但是若你棄掉這思想過程的話，便不要投訴現今的世界不像樣了！
Apr 30, 2008
陳冠希懺悔 信耶穌贖罪
(綜合報道)(星島日報報道)陳冠希(Edison)被人盜用的牀照風波，案件已於本月24日開審，自發相人「奇拿」於網上聲言會再發淫照企圖挑戰警方的 威信後，昨日凌晨內地網站出現了3幅Edison與一名女子的親熱照片，不過已被證實是混淆視聽的舊照；另一邊廂，《東周刊》報道指Edison經商務及 經濟發展局長馬時亨(
相關)的牧師侄兒馬正遠(Jaeson)的勸導後改信耶穌，藉信主而覺悟前非。
有 網民曾表明「奇拿」會於Edison的牀照風波開審日(即24日)，會再度發放新淫照挑戰警方，昨日內地網站在凌晨終出現3張Edison與一名女性在沙 發上親熱的照片，有網友更因女主角的外貌難以辨認，紛紛猜估女方是蔡依林還是謝婷婷。不過，經查證後，這批相片其實是2004年間MTV頻道節目 《Whatever Things》中擷取的畫面，估計是有人想於這個非常時期藉舊照片再惹事端。
此外，Edison本計畫於下月返港， 為淫照案件作證人，及為自己的時裝店造勢，搶回潮界達人的地位，可是有關案件押後至10月才再審，有見及此，Edison身邊好友便力勸他不要返港，希望 他能遠離是非地，因此Edison到目前為止仍未決定返港日期，反而計畫到非洲探訪貧困地區。而昨日《東周刊》亦報道指，Edison已歸信基督教，引令 他信教的便是商務及經濟發展局長馬時亨侄兒Jaeson。
據知Ediosn是經林建岳(相關) 的好友輾轉介紹下，認識現年26歲任職牧師的Jaeson，二人一談之下十分投契，當時陷於迷惑的Edison深感罪孽深重，經Jaeson的感化後便決 志成為基督徒。而原來Jaeson除了是馬時亨的侄兒外，他的出身也大有來頭，於美國出身及受教育的他，擁有3個學士學位，包括神學、青年事工及工商管 理。Jaeson曾想於Rap界當巨星，於教會事務上創立一個叫Campus Church Networks，目的是推廣於每個校園內也有學生帶領的教會。
而原來Jaeson與Edison年少時性格同樣反叛，Jaeson少年時曾吸毒和犯下偷竊罪行而留案底，現在痛改前非，與Edison浪子回頭的經歷十分相似，難怪Ediosn會受感化信耶穌。
哩單新聞已經由Jaeson喺其部落格上被證實，詳細分享請點擊以下網址：
http://jaesonma.com/2008/04/pray-for-edison-chen-me-and-world.html
希望大家真係可以學習到一樣也：人喺可以藉着耶穌而被轉變咖。父神從來唔會丟弃祂的兒女。
